Why can’t I get just one kiss?
Why can’t I get just one kiss?
Believe me, 
Somethings I wouldn’t miss
But I look at you pants and I need a kiss.

Why can’t I get just one screw?
Why can’t I get just one screw?
Believe me,
I’d know what to do.
But something won’t let me make love to you.

Hush - Deep Purple

First of all the guitar and bass and drums really get me in this song. Unf. Second, the whispering. I almost always listen to this song with headphones and when I do it’s like a young Ian Gillan is whispering in *my* ear and his breath is hot and I can feel all on my neck and his left hand is on my lower back and his right hand is on my tit. Just on it and not rubbing but I’m just waiting it for him to squeeze and rub. I’m waiting because I can’t move let alone breathe.

I’m a Man- The Spencer Davis Group with Steve Winwood on vocals.

His “pad” is a mess. He has whiskers on his chin. He’s a MAN.

Well my pad is very messy —-> Tickling my vagina.
And there’s whiskers on my chin —-> Dayum.
And I’m all hung up on music —-> WIN.
And I always play to win —-> Aggressive, eh? MM.
I ain’t got no time for lovin’ —-> Say, what now?
Cause my time is all used up —-> Oh.
Just to sit around creatin’ —-> Ohhh.
All that groovy kind of stuff. —-> Sixties!
I’m a man —-> Oh, baby.
Yes I am —-> Yes, you are.
And I can’t help —-> No you can’t.
But love you so —-> Aw.
I’m a man —-> Yes, you are.
Yes I am —-> Yes, you AREEEEE.
And I can’t help —-> Oh god, keep going.
But love you so. —-> More.

Coin Operated Boy- The Dresden Dolls

For a song that isn’t about dildos, it made me want to pull one out (or in).

Attributes of the coin operated boy: Coin operated as the title implies- Hey, can make change. Somehow.

Sits on a shelf- out of the way but not out of reach.

Made of plastic and elastic which makes him automatically rugged, long-lasting, pliable into different shapes/sizes but ultimately not human (the perfect human companion?) and a toy.

Feels like a boy should feel despite inexperience with girls. Can’t compare you to anyone thinner, smarter, prettier, shorter, taller, whatever.

Coin-operated boys are perfect for girls because they love us like we want to loved.

I want. My. Coin-operated. Boy. Now.

Violent Femmes- Gimme The Car

This song reminds me of teen movies of the ‘80s or Superbad! where you didn’t mind watching somewhat awkward teenage boys somewhat awkwardly attempt to get laid. If you’re a straight guy then you most likely identify with the person speaking. If you have a vagina and like dudes then you most likely identify with the girl he wants to go pick up and (guitar noise). If you’re me then you identify as the girl that really wants to get (guitar noise) because she can identify with the speaker.

“Cuz I’m gonna touch her, All over her body, Gonna touch her, All over her body, Gonna touch her, All over her body, Gonna touch her, All over her body. And she can touch me, All over my body, She can touch me, All over my body, She can touch me, All over my body, She can touch me, All over my body,” although, while, not being too graphic really hits home what you want to do in a car.

This song makes me more wet than you could possibly imagine. I try not to think about the “backdoor man” part*: buttfucking is not for me.”Way down inside, woman, You need love” and “Im gonna give you every inch of my love” make me wetter than the Indian ocean, I mean almost as much as the Pacific ocean. And the “Oh, oh, oh”? Jesus. Robert Plant oh, oh, ohing?! Frickin’ amazing.

*i found out that “backdoor man” is the man that you would let the backdoor open for sex in the ’70s or 1870s or something. Anyway, Robert Plant can be my backdoor man any day.